Owen - 16

"They are all hoping we die soon."

"I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the post. That's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold of me. It's on its way." - Mark Renton

There are few moments in life in which you feel a deep sense of worthlessness that has no bottom, no escape. 0-16 has that feeling. It makes the village raid in Apocalypto seem quaint. They tell us to "get a life" when we take our football teams too seriously. We see some problems with that sentiment.

What if the team is a big part of your life?

What if you remember sitting down watching games with your father every Sunday?

What if the one thing you remember through the stubborn hangover on Thanksgiving is watching your team play football on national television?

Also, why would the people who take their football team too seriously be told to get a life by the few people who should take football very seriously? There is no excuse for this abortion of a season. Hell, most teams luck their asses into at least a few wins on turnovers alone (look at Cleveland).

If we ever see Matt Millen out and about we are prepared for the following exchange:

Us: "Hey! You are Matt Millen!"

Matt: "Oh, well Hi how are y..."

Us: (cutting Matt Millen off) "Son, come over here. This is what a worthless piece of shit looks like." (points at Matt Millen)

Our Son: "Is he why you cry on Sundays daddy?"

Us: "Yes. Now take a good look at him. Don't ever do anything as poorly as he does, ever. If you ever have to make any decision in life, figure out what this asshole did and do the exact opposite. Ok?"

Our Son: "Yes dad."