Ann Arbor, 1879

Peace Out!

2009-01-08T05:59:00.001-08:00

DeWayne Peace has de-committed from Michigan as of this morning. He wants to play WR rather than CB... Oh and he is from fucking Texas. Kids from Texas hate Michigan and love to screw with us and de-commit at the last possible moment. They also love to get home-sick and just toy with us in general. DeWayne is looking at Kansas, TCU and Colorado State among others. Here is to further recruiting the great state of Texas so we can cry every January.

Dual Threat?

2009-01-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

We are ? indeed. Scenario: You can choose only one...

QB A: Can pass effectively.

QB B: Can run effectively.

QB C: Can pass and run effectively.

Universally we would all choose QB C. So why on Earth would QB C go to a system in which he is allowed to optimize only one of his talents? We ask this question because we have seen many (see: nearly all) Dual Threat QBs recently choosing to go to schools that run the pro-style offensive set (ie. drop back and pass). Why is this? If you walked into an interview and were asked if you could multi task with many of your incredible talents would you reply that you were actually more focused on using one? Of course not. We think kids have it in their minds that NFL teams take Pro Style QBs more often than Spread/Option type QBs. This is a fallacy that can be seen here in this comprehensive study:

QB College System
1. Peyton Manning Tennessee Pro
2. Tom Brady MichiganPro
3. Tony Romo Eastern Illinois Spread
4. Carson Palmer USC Pro
5. Ben RoethlisbergerMiami (Not that Miami) Pro
6. David Garrard ECU Spread
7. Derek Andersen Oregon State Spread
8. Donovan McNabb Syracuse Spread
9. Drew Brees PurdueSpread
10. Matt Hasselbeck BC Pro
11. Jay CutlerVanderbilt Pro
12. Matt Schaub Virginia Pro
13. Eli Manning Ole Miss Pro
14. Phillip Rivers NC State Pro
15. Jeff Garcia San Jose State Spread
16. Marc Bulger WVU Spread
17. Vince Young Texas Spread
18. Trent Edwards Stanford Pro
19. Jason Campbell Auburn Pro
20. Aaron Rogers California Spread
21. JaMarcus Russell LSU Pro
22. Leinart/Warner USC/ Northern Iowa Pro/ Spread
23. John Kitna Central Washington Spread
24. Jake Delhomme Louisiana-Lafayette Spread
25. Clemens/Penington/Draft Oregon/Marshall Spread/ Spread
26. Steve McNair Alcorn State Spread
27. Tarvaris Jackson Alabama State Spread
28. Rex Grossman Florida Spread
29. Shockley/Redman/Draft Georgia Pro
30. Alex Smith Utah Spread
31. John Beck/Draft BYU Spread
32. Croyle/Huard/Draft Alabama/ Washington Pro/ Pro

FINDINGS

Pro =16
Spread = 18

And thusly, Money Man = moron.

Jim Rome, douche.

2009-01-06T13:20:00.000-08:00

We were listening to "The Jungle" today and heard Jim Rome talk about the Fiesta Bowl. First he said that Texas didn't do enough in "only closely" beating o$u last night, thus pissing off his Texas listeners. Then he went on to say that o$u was basically dog shit for losing three strait BCS games, thus pissing off his Ohio listeners. Then he had this little gem in regards to o$u:

Sure they beat Michigan, but Michigan isn't Michigan anymore.

First of all, that doesn't even make sense. Michigan is most definitely still Michigan, true story.

Secondly, and we can't emphasise this enough to people, ONE year out of the last THIRTY(!!!) does not make UM a failure. Not to mention, we were ranked pre-season top 5 just two seasons ago! Can you remember 2007? Man, it seem like forever ago, but try as we may we can still grasp what 2007 was like. This garbage about how Michigan has fallen off pisses us off to no end. We were ranked top 5 two seasons ago... also do you know what other teams have had losing season in that time? Florida, USC, OU, Nebraska, ND, Texas, UT, etc...

Thirdly, Jime Rome. Hilarious. We mean, this guy. Legendary. So good. Jungle Legend. ERRRRRRR! is a complete soCal horse jockey with absolutely no business talking about college football unless it starts with U and ends in SC. We bet he has seen zero Michigan games all year. Fin.

Owen - 16

2008-12-29T06:34:00.000-08:00

"They are all hoping we die soon."

"I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the post. That's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold of me. It's on its way." - Mark Renton

There are few moments in life in which you feel a deep sense of worthlessness that has no bottom, no escape. 0-16 has that feeling. It makes the village raid in Apocalypto seem quaint. They tell us to "get a life" when we take our football teams too seriously. We see some problems with that sentiment.

What if the team is a big part of your life?

What if you remember sitting down watching games with your father every Sunday?

What if the one thing you remember through the stubborn hangover on Thanksgiving is watching your team play football on national television?

Also, why would the people who take their football team too seriously be told to get a life by the few people who should take football very seriously? There is no excuse for this abortion of a season. Hell, most teams luck their asses into at least a few wins on turnovers alone (look at Cleveland).

If we ever see Matt Millen out and about we are prepared for the following exchange:

Us: "Hey! You are Matt Millen!"

Matt: "Oh, well Hi how are y..."

Us: (cutting Matt Millen off) "Son, come over here. This is what a worthless piece of shit looks like." (points at Matt Millen)

Our Son: "Is he why you cry on Sundays daddy?"

Us: "Yes. Now take a good look at him. Don't ever do anything as poorly as he does, ever. If you ever have to make any decision in life, figure out what this asshole did and do the exact opposite. Ok?"

Our Son: "Yes dad."

DQ - Boom! Outta Here

2008-12-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

A theory - DeQuinta Jones will de-commit soon. He has been downgraded to a soft verbal and setting up other visits and with the news that Big Willy Style has enrolled early (SHHHHHH!) he may be looking for someplace closer to home. We think DeQuinta will be good wherever he ends up (including if he chooses to stay Blue), but we just saw this offer as a lure for Reuben Randle to begin with and with Reuben not taking the bait the coaching staff has been giving DeQuinta the Jordan Barnes routine (again, my opinion). You may be wrong, but you may be right dah dah dah. We shall see.

Chris Freeman

2008-12-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

This is Chris Freeman. Chris is 6'7" and 325 pounds. He plays basketball and recently took up football in his senior year at Trotwood, Ohio. Michigan has a strong recruiting connection in Trotwood, Ohio; Mike Shaw, etc. We post this because we had a strong positive feeling about the potential of a 6'7", 325 pound monster as a future offensive tackle. Basketball, his first love, takes a bit more athleticism than other sports and athleticism in an offensive lineman is a good indicator of future success as opposed to just being a rather large, junk food eating, and sassy Boren.

After we saw this question asked on MgoBlog.com and the response by MGoObes (who seems to have some clue as to what he/she is talking about) "We aren't really after him anymore" we wondered why? Michigan football likes linemen. We like linemen. Michigan football likes projects. We like projects. Chris Freeman is both a lineman and a project. He did not start every game in his FIRST SEASON of organized football. This is not shocking to us. He may need some coaching. We have a coach. This all adds up to potential awesomeness with a side of excitement. We have a class of 25 to fill, with the departure of Beaver we have 20 commits... why not add mini Escalade to the fold?

Snake Oil

2008-12-23T11:43:00.000-08:00

We peruse through many Michigan Athletics blogs every day and we have come to the conclusion that the term "snake oil" is the most annoying thing in the history of the planet. It is our opinion that we as Michigan fans should discontinue using the phrase made popular by Diabeetus Alien in this rant to end all rants. We get it; in regards to recruiting, if Rich gets another schools commit to change over to our side he used "snake oil"... ha ha ha. It was funny when Old Man Tiller crapped his pants about losing Roundtree. It wasn't funny enough to continue using a year later when any commit changes their mind. Enough is enough.

Snake Oil = Cut. It. Out.

But now he rides a comet's flame and won't be coming back again

2008-12-12T11:15:00.000-08:00

McGuffie has received his official release from the team.

After numerous concussions and a death in the family this year McGuffie thought it would be best to head back down to Texas. He is leaning toward Texas A&M as of now. He will have to sit out a year if he transfers to a D-1 school.

Our opinion is he was given every opportunity to succeed as a true freshman and in many ways he did just that;

Carries 118, Yards 486, YPC 4.1, TD 3

those are good for second best rushing stats on the team.

We understand he was home-sick and injured, but we have to ask the question; what else did he want as a true freshman? He was given the ball more times than anyone else on the team (Minor had 103 attempts). The offense is perfect for his skill set. We just don't understand what else could fulfill his needs, but whatever, it is a personal choice and only he knows what is best for him. Best of luck to Sam in whatever avenue he pursues in life.

Men Of Wisdom

2008-12-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

This season reminds me of the song Echos Myron by Guided By Voices (one of the few great things from ohio).

"Tower to the skies.

An academy of lies.

And what goes up

Surely must come down

And we felt the mighty blow-up

With the walls coming down

Or something like that"

3-9 happened... and we learned from it. We learned to desire with more intensity the very thing we used to take for granted. We had something most teams only dream of, but we strived for more... and it will come. This man wants what we want. This man has wisdom. The future is bright.